4am insomnia.

Leaf

No two days are alike. The times I hoped for sameness, I don’t know why I had the slightest expectations for predictability. Because as much as we can control ourselves, anything beyond is beyond our control. We cannot change the weather or the pebbles that get blown at our feet. We intercept them, somehow become a part of their day. But in the end, we’re in charge of where we step, how we react, and what we filter.

For better or worse, we let things come into our lives, but we also block what we dislike. And depending on the day, depends on what we decline. These tendencies are probably why our days are always changing. We’re the captains or the kings of our lives. And somehow, the rest of the day meets us halfway. As the day clearly has its plans, and I have my own, it’s a hit or a miss when we come together.

What do we accept or reject for the day. If feeling great, maybe we disagree with anything negative about ourselves. And on a day feeling down, we’re inclined to push away any positive remarks. Maybe we intended to push them aside for an even rainier day, but somehow we forget to remember.

But if a day is the same as yesterday, does that mean all elements remain the same. Would a same day mean that the same amount of time passes, but no one even ages. For better or worse, that’d mean we didn’t change, that we’re powerless. And I think that’s worse than having the two same days.

For the cost of aging, I’d change for the world. Cause if there are two bad days in a row, I hope to not react the same as yesterday. And if there is a great day tomorrow, I hope I’d be ambitious enough to make it even greater.

For the love of curiosity!

WhiteYamahaFix

Mischief struck me.

The cruise ship docked, and the travelers left for their destinations. But what I cared about wasn’t out there. Staying aboard, I headed to a grand sunlit room where the welcoming doors were quite inviting.

As I hoped for an empty ship, I knew the reality was still better than most times. I assumed that the few who occupied the room weren’t threatening.  The travelers chilled with their drinks, and the bartender looked quite tame. Walking past their slumped backs and pretending to be interested in the windows, I turned around to face heart’s desire. I dared to lift the lid quietly with a finger.

Blasted. 

The piano was locked.

Laughter rippled through my body and was followed by the nerves that set free. I no longer needed them. The ship’s crew must have seen me coming. And guess what? The people in the room remained perfectly oblivious. At least I didn’t try the piano in the ship’s foyer. Though, it was tempting cause I saw that one first. Now I understand why some pianos are left unguarded.

As I imagined what I would’ve played, I also fantasized its consequences resulting in a blaring alarm or a crumbling ship. The mission seemed so important, and the thrill was in the risk.

But the important thing is that I survived so to continue laughing in my wiser days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hELLOOO, OUT THEERRE (there, there, theerre)!!!

 

BugHwyFix1Life has honestly been a blast! But…

Getting lost is one thing, but being lost is another. And it’s the latter that has been with me my whole life. As it has gradually increased in weight, it’s become the mission closest to my heart.

So, here I am still checking out life but choosing to blog about it this time. Maybe I’ll find inspiration to share here and there, and hopefully sharing reflections will alleviate the journey. From wandering around this whole time, I’ve come to notice that if you’re lost in one aspect of life, it spreads to other parts.

But honestly.

What’s an adventure without getting lost? When I’ve taken a wrong turn or have curiously gotten lost, at least several trips come to mind that were made better because of the unexpected events. In fact, it’s the experiences from getting lost on the road where I learn the most but also find self.

* * *

BugDoodleFrontMy love for adventuring began when my parents gave me a GPS on my 18th birthday. But man, God only knew how much I would need that! Because as soon as I passed my driver’s test, having it in my back pocket gave me the confidence to surf the road. Call it a lucky feather or whatever, but I honestly don’t know how I would’ve gotten home from a multitude of driving adventures.

When GPSes were car swag to save up for, they also had the reputation of being flaky. If I didn’t get lost on my own, it was because of an inaccurate map. One trip, I was steered so wrong to where I found myself driving up to an abandoned warehouse— I was trying to find an ICE SKATING RINK! And the friend who was brave to have me drive us? We STILL laugh about it.

Another trip, my GPS had me looping around an interstate a few times, insisting that IKEA was among the noon rush hour. The friends who were with me then also still laugh about it. Though, it would’ve been cool if there was at least a couch sitting in the middle of the road.

Same GPS, but entering downtown work life— I somehow took a different route home everyday for THREE months. I didn’t know the area really well, the lanes and drivers weren’t so accommodating, and if there was a way out of congested traffic, I took it. Those days usually ended with cool landmarks I came to appreciate and stories to share the next day.

Nowadays, I’ve become best friends with Google Maps (though I still keep my GPS for luck). What hasn’t changed is my adventurous side. I’ve just become a little more mature and prepared these days. A recent day trip, I packed a bag so that I could drive randomly and see where I ended up. Five hours later, persevering to a beautiful beach inspired a glorious nap on the sand and a time for much needed reflection. By the time I got home that night, my then housemates could’ve assumed I was coming home from work. If I was used to enjoying paradise everyday, then sneaking off for an unplanned beach trip wouldn’t have been as spectacular.

* * *

From decently getting lost on the road, whether by accident or on purpose, I’ve learned it’s wise to pull over so to adjust your strategy. And I believe that’s where I’m at with life now. I’ve pulled off to the side to figure out my next moves.

So, as I attempt to use this space for motivational purposes and for soul searching, welcome to my little corner! ^_^

❤ Laters.