What Goes Best with A Bowl of Wisps?

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Whatever I’ve tried doing today, I just can’t seem to be content. I’ve spaced out on this blog for an hour, tried watching TV, and even tried chilling. I just seem restless in a tiny, yet big space. The mind travels off the map sometimes.

Floating thoughts at the moment, in case you’re interested!

Is there really a point in learning Mozart? Especially when one isn’t a classical pianist, and there’s no concert or coffee shop gig to prepare for. I’ve recently been learning the joy of playing for self. A few years ago, I didn’t understand that concept. But it’s just as well that my plate is currently light, considering I haven’t truly practice in years. My hands have gotten sore in a short amount of time, and it’s taken me a few weeks to learn the first page of a modern piano piece. It’s still a waltz, but the film from which it’s from makes it more current than Beethoven & Chopin. But hey! I’ve learned one whole page of a waltz that I imagine would sound awesome on a piano in the middle of a crowd someday.

And did you know that we’re only 20 weeks in to 2020? Somehow, that time length sounds shorter than 5 months. Tomorrow starts week 21. I’ve had 10 main goals in mind for the year, and their progress are as wispy as what happens when Googling images for this word. You’re welcome! ^_^ Admittedly, wispy is just fun to say.

On a day when one should do stuff but doesn’t feel like it, I guess that’s where sitting at a piano all day could be considered an accomplishment. What’s more, I don’t even have to play. I could just sit and make that the day’s purpose.

Maybe that’s the point of Mozart…

—To use it as one distraction to run away from other distractions!

❤ Laters!

 

 

 

Blog #11

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My brain scrunches up in angst and slides down to the end of my nose. And all that I can do to calm it is by remembering that the year is still young. Very young, indeed.

Not sure when I became the too careful type.  I remember diving forward without hesitation. There was no fear to flop, just pure innocence. As I’ve reflected the past career aspirations, I’ve concluded to stop pining for what was hoped for.  Instead, it’s okay to become who I’d like to be now.

But alas, I’m stuck again.

I see all the big opportunities out there that would require big leaps. But at the moment, I don’t think I’m cut out for the giant ones just yet. I definitely approached a few last year, but something inside me wants to jump but within limits. There are all these connections that I want to hold onto. And, it seems beyond me to jump off without knowing why.

The thing about wanting change, even small ones, doesn’t it require to give up something? And this is where I become wishy washy. I want change, but I currently feel at home with my current lifestyle. It has some steadiness and consistency to it, while leaving room for spontaneity. The problem, even if change were to come, a part of me secretly hopes things aren’t too different. And I know I can’t have both, change and sameness.

On the days when the world looks too big to handle, maybe that’s when I should consider poking at the opportunities that are intimidating. Someone is bound to have kicks and giggles during those times, and I hope it’s me.

If anything, I should try to be more curious about life’s opportunities. Maybe I could pretend life is one big drive, waiting for me and my out-of-socket-brain to turn down a street just to see where it goes.

 

 

 

 

After living it out successfully, I end the day with a paper cut on my elbow from running into a wall calendar.

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It’s been one of those days where a soda, some chocolate covered peanuts, and a hot dog in a toasted poppy seed bun were for lunch, and a coffee and cake were a dinner’s appetizer. My metal water bottle was also threatened of being thrown away, as it was considered a potential weapon. Thankfully, no one lost their fingers. And fun fact: I somehow snuck off mid-morning for a mini adventure, and I didn’t come back until nine hours later. It was also a day where if I had tried taking pics, they wouldn’t have truly caught all the beauty that was witnessed. Some adventures really are meant to just enjoy, as if made only for the soul’s pleasure.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought I was back in NYC. Maybe it was how the streets were numbered like avenues. Or how my nose was intrigued by fried chicken in the midst of people and city odor. I also came across a construction site where the sidewalk tunneled under a metal bridge and the sound of hammers argued above. The map on my phone even malfunctioned, and I ended up needing to ditch it and use headsmarts.

I even found the same bakery chain as I had adored in NYC. Except, the store found today was at least ten times bigger than the shoe box sized venue from last month. It had the same foods and decoration style, but somehow the vibe felt tiring.

And for the first time in several years, I got so twisted lost on the way home from my little day venture. If I hadn’t taken a few wrong turns, I would’ve been home an hour earlier. And you know what? I think I also got bamboozled by my GPS. And that too hasn’t happened in several years. The route I was following took me in different loops and u-turns that I later learned weren’t necessary.

And guess what? I get back home late, and no one questions where I’ve been. There was all this hype on the way home of what I’d share, and if all would be excited to hear of the mini day trip.

I might sound like I’m complaining, but today really was a good day. I somehow experienced NYC and the old I-got-super-lost-on-the-way-home me in the same day. It was an unexpected, frustrating combination, but it worked out. I forgot what it was like to get messy lost and to laugh victoriously when I figured out how to come out of it.

❤ Goodnight!