Blog #17

My mind throws a tantrum.
And I let it.
It yells, grieves,
Lets the toxins stream down.

When my five-year-old self would have been scolded,
I’m in my adulthood egging it on.

Let it get ugly, let it pass over.
There’s nothing to gain,
Or a person’s attention we crave.
Not even qualified rebels,
Since it’s just our badass selves.

The mind thinks it’s sunset
When it comes back together.
Exhausted, ready to carry on.

Almost fresh from the Narnia wardrobe,
I was only gone for 5 minutes.
Except, no one but me keeps this secret.

Yet, we open the windows for fresh air,
Water the damaged,
Patch up the holes.

We embrace what we did.
Mind in hand,
We continue holding on to each other.

What Goes Best with A Bowl of Wisps?

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Whatever I’ve tried doing today, I just can’t seem to be content. I’ve spaced out on this blog for an hour, tried watching TV, and even tried chilling. I just seem restless in a tiny, yet big space. The mind travels off the map sometimes.

Floating thoughts at the moment, in case you’re interested!

Is there really a point in learning Mozart? Especially when one isn’t a classical pianist, and there’s no concert or coffee shop gig to prepare for. I’ve recently been learning the joy of playing for self. A few years ago, I didn’t understand that concept. But it’s just as well that my plate is currently light, considering I haven’t truly practice in years. My hands have gotten sore in a short amount of time, and it’s taken me a few weeks to learn the first page of a modern piano piece. It’s still a waltz, but the film from which it’s from makes it more current than Beethoven & Chopin. But hey! I’ve learned one whole page of a waltz that I imagine would sound awesome on a piano in the middle of a crowd someday.

And did you know that we’re only 20 weeks in to 2020? Somehow, that time length sounds shorter than 5 months. Tomorrow starts week 21. I’ve had 10 main goals in mind for the year, and their progress are as wispy as what happens when Googling images for this word. You’re welcome! ^_^ Admittedly, wispy is just fun to say.

On a day when one should do stuff but doesn’t feel like it, I guess that’s where sitting at a piano all day could be considered an accomplishment. What’s more, I don’t even have to play. I could just sit and make that the day’s purpose.

Maybe that’s the point of Mozart…

—To use it as one distraction to run away from other distractions!

❤ Laters!

 

 

 

Onward!

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“A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.”

~Albert Einstein

If life was sitting in front of me right now, I think it’d say, “That wasn’t a big of a leap enough.”

Honestly, I think that’s the reason why I didn’t mind the most recent rejection. And you know what? It was the silent kind, yet I’m okay having found out the way I did.

Going into the attempt of making a change, I knew it would have allowed me to keep everything the same. Yes, I would have made a bit more money. But had the opportunity worked out, I wouldn’t have been challenged. It would have required continuing to put up with what I’m aware is making me tired.

WHY are we willing to put ourselves through trials that we know we should walk away from? It must be that going through trials are life’s necessities.

Einstein said it. We are made to do more. If we can somehow be willing to unlock our potentials, we can maybe discover our purpose for living. And if nothing’s uncovered, I guess it means we get to shut our eyes and point in a random direction, hoping for the best.

I may not be excited, but I am curious to see what’s next. Because that opportunity didn’t work out, that means I’m needing to step outside my comfort zone and try something else.

Maybe life is expecting more from me than what I’ve been putting in.

Here I go!

What’s up? The ceiling, the sky, hopefully some birds.

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Sometimes, all you need to do is step outside for fresh air, and find appreciation in the surrounding beauty. Look up at the sky, and something is always going on. At times, it may simply be azure or stormy, the whole canopy in agreeance. But other times, there’s different things going on in different parts of the sky. One time, across the vast heavens, it was split into two halves: one side was dark and gloomy, while the other end was part blinding but also had a sunset. But the divide line where the dark and light halves clashed, there was the tiniest, faintest rainbow. But I wouldn’t have noticed it until I put on sunglasses.

And sometimes, I look in my rear view mirror, and see how it contrasts with the weather ahead. I could be leaving sunny skies, and be heading into a storm—or vice versa!

The sky in our minds can be similar with what goes on outside. It’s all in good spirits for one day, or all over the place the next. And somewhere amongst the chaos and peace, something good comes from it all. I have been proven that time and time again. But the major difference with our skies and nature’s—we’re in control of ours.

But the cool thing is that our minds can be whatever we want them to be.

Prison.

Garden.

Dark cellar.

Sunroof.

Nightmare.

Reality.

Discouraged.

Hopeful.

Gluten-free.

Maybe except the last one, the comparisons for the mind are infinite.

But the most important thing—the mind is ours.

Do what you will with yours. ❤