Blog #18

On Tuesday the 15th,
The day spent time at a funeral home,
The cold rainy day brought a
Stray orange cat into a garage
Emptied of medical equipment.

Coming home from a day of
Funeral plans made for a
Loved man who despised cats,
A descendant of the lion clans
Makes its way into a new kingdom.

He passed all the lines and laser beams,
He reached the furthest landing
And lasted the longest of any feline
That’s come onto the forbidden property.

No risk of being tossed by the scruff,
Hissed at, or chased away,
Perhaps he’s the cleverest of all.

May he rest in peace.

Blog #17

My mind throws a tantrum.
And I let it.
It yells, grieves,
Lets the toxins stream down.

When my five-year-old self would have been scolded,
I’m in my adulthood egging it on.

Let it get ugly, let it pass over.
There’s nothing to gain,
Or a person’s attention we crave.
Not even qualified rebels,
Since it’s just our badass selves.

The mind thinks it’s sunset
When it comes back together.
Exhausted, ready to carry on.

Almost fresh from the Narnia wardrobe,
I was only gone for 5 minutes.
Except, no one but me keeps this secret.

Yet, we open the windows for fresh air,
Water the damaged,
Patch up the holes.

We embrace what we did.
Mind in hand,
We continue holding on to each other.

As Calm as A Chair

Yikes. I haven’t written anything since May, but it feels like a year. As you probably felt similar, I approached 2020 with a thousand hopeful eyes, thinking I would take big leaps and find new answers. The last time I wrote, I didn’t realize how long quarantine would last.

I think the big world became a much smaller one with the state of everything. What I took for granted was to freely go anywhere at any given time and to find delight in distractions. As there’s much I could complain, maybe I could label 2020 as an intimate year with myself. There were many times I’d find myself feeling depressed, feeling I’m not where I’m supposed to be, and feeling that I needed to go out and do something about it. To calm down, I would try to focus on one small thing I was grateful for.

Today, as I realized the year is ending and my goals need to be renewed for next year, I started panicking and feeling like I didn’t accomplish much. How I got off that train, I found myself grateful for feeling safe enough to peacefully sit in my desk chair. And that thought somehow made me calm. I can sit here as long as I need to, think whatever I’d like, and no one’s currently interested in kicking me out or bothering me. I can do a lot from just sitting on this one chair. For now, I think it’s okay to just exist in the chair and figure out how to build a life from it.

Plus, it’s a spiny chair!

Here’s to 2021!

❤ Laters!

Cue the trapeze.

20190926_132635

Perspective pedals a tiny tricycle around a path of twists and tangles, while honking a cheery horn. With a wagon red smile and frizzy kissed hair, my eyes try looking beyond the paint. It’s well done but not waterproof.

I tried following its logic, but the only thing I ask is—where does my heart get to rest in all this. I’m sure it’s allied with time, but the importance of the latter can wait outside the door until further notice. Though, the ticking doesn’t stop or is anything but silent.

But what if all the confusion that Perspective brings could be cleared up with a bunch of balloons. We could even hold a candlelit ceremony at sunset, say thanks, and watch everything ascend gracefully. Of course, I would welcome the winds’ whispered favor.

Then again, I’m sure five seconds after a peaceful sendoff, the time that I had totally forgotten about and tried to ignore would come crashing in. If it had rung the doorbell, I wouldn’t have heard it, for the only thing that kept me sane is up there with the balloons.

Perspective can be right.

Perspective can be wrong.

Perhaps, Perspective deserves a lollipop for all that I put it through.

 

 

 

What’s up? The ceiling, the sky, hopefully some birds.

SunsetCruise

Sometimes, all you need to do is step outside for fresh air, and find appreciation in the surrounding beauty. Look up at the sky, and something is always going on. At times, it may simply be azure or stormy, the whole canopy in agreeance. But other times, there’s different things going on in different parts of the sky. One time, across the vast heavens, it was split into two halves: one side was dark and gloomy, while the other end was part blinding but also had a sunset. But the divide line where the dark and light halves clashed, there was the tiniest, faintest rainbow. But I wouldn’t have noticed it until I put on sunglasses.

And sometimes, I look in my rear view mirror, and see how it contrasts with the weather ahead. I could be leaving sunny skies, and be heading into a storm—or vice versa!

The sky in our minds can be similar with what goes on outside. It’s all in good spirits for one day, or all over the place the next. And somewhere amongst the chaos and peace, something good comes from it all. I have been proven that time and time again. But the major difference with our skies and nature’s—we’re in control of ours.

But the cool thing is that our minds can be whatever we want them to be.

Prison.

Garden.

Dark cellar.

Sunroof.

Nightmare.

Reality.

Discouraged.

Hopeful.

Gluten-free.

Maybe except the last one, the comparisons for the mind are infinite.

But the most important thing—the mind is ours.

Do what you will with yours. ❤